31. Squash Cornfield: Chef des Ténèbres

Show Notes

Welcome, Junior Wizards! This week, Jeff and Aaron have gazed into The Dark Magickal Spiral Ham, and it gazed back… Thanks to a prompt (below) from Joe Pavelka, we meet Squash Cornfield, the Archmage Chef. Sometimes an episode is better listened to than read about. Some say the path of pleasure is the opposite way of godhood, but that path is not a single line – it is a circle, one of many. The “opposite” way also leads to the same place, and thus the path of ecstasy allows us to ascend as well. And what greater ecstasy than the perfect meal? A bouillabaisse after a wintry night at sea? A buttery and spirit-soaked desert as a prelude and foundation to lovemaking? A perfect egg sandwich to accompany the sun’s rising? An apple on a rooftop overlooking the city? But of course, “perfect” is relative – there are heights to cuisine yet unscaled, culinary frontiers yet unbroken. And where might they lie? Magic is a force we see in our everyday lives – a force for war, but also for innovation and convenience. So why not for food? Why has no one considered this? With magical manipulation, whether through ancient rituals, arcane ingredients, or raw elemental power – we would have a breakthrough in cooking like no civilization before has ever seen. Yes, we have potions – we consume them and they produce magical effects, but bleh – where’s the flavor? Perhaps some essence from a fire elemental to add REAL spice. Ritual infusions to open up the senses, or invent new ones. A souffle so light and fluffy, you literally float in the air. The possibilities are infinite, as is the pleasure attainable. And so I embark on this journey of discovery and invention, to bend the arcane arts to my culinary will, and to be a chef to the gods themselves, indeed a god of pleasure myself. “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” – Virginia Woolf